For the last 26 years, we’ve had a pretty good understanding with wild Pokémon. They don’t attack us directly, and we don’t attack them directly. But that’s going to change in next year’s Pokémon Legends: Arceus. The upcoming game casts us as travelers in a bygone era, back before the collectible critters knew the rules of engagement. That’s a nice way of saying that we’ll become targets for wild ‘mons.
But you know what? I’m ready for it. In fact, I’ve made a little list of potential opponents. I’m not sticking just to Sinnoh/Hisui Pokémon, despite the setting of the upcoming game, because the desire for combat cannot be contained by just one region. So let’s go.
In Pokémon Sword & Shield, your Galarian Farfetch’d can evolve into this noble lad if it lands three critical hits in one battle. That’s pretty impressive. And so’s the look of the Sirfetch’d in general. He looks like he could trounce me and all my friends without breaking a sweat, then go for a quick lunch afterward.
Honestly, I don’t want to fight Sirfetch’d out of any sort of vendetta. I just want to know if I’d be a worthy opponent. (The answer is almost certainly “no.”)
Okay, fine, I don’t actually want to fight Spheal. I just want Spheal to be cute in my general vicinity. Lots of Pokémon are super adorable (that’s kind of the point), but this round boy is like a little beach ball of friendliness.
I 100% would not mind getting attacked by this kid. I’ll even play dead and let him feel like he’s big and tough. (I say this now, knowing full well that one hit from a Water Gun attack would likely land me in hospital.)
Back off, everyone, I’m fighting this one myself.
This small man masquerading as a Pokémon has had it too good for too long. I don’t know whether he’s trying to game the system, or he’s running away from something, or if he just really enjoys being able to slap people for not appreciating his mime skills. But I’m going to fight him. Now, I’m probably going to lose horribly because he actually does have psychic mime skills. But I feel strongly enough about this that I’m willing to go for it.
Pokémon Legends: Arceus comes out in January 2022. Which ‘mon would you fight one-on-one?