Paul Thomas Chapman
December 13, 2007 
Stop me if you’ve heard this one:
At the close of World War II, in a desperate attempt to create the ultimate super-soldier, a Nazi submarine absconds from Germany with the heart of Frankenstein’s Monster in tow. The submarine transports the still-beating heart to Hiroshima, delivering it to a military hospital mere minutes before the Little Boy atomic bomb wipes the city off the map. Over the next 15 years, the irradiated heart regenerates into a feral boy who, when captured and fed properly, promptly grows to preposterous size. Then the regenerated Frankenboy dukes it out with an equally gigantic, floppy-eared dog-dragon sporting a glow-in-the-dark rhinoceros horn.
Sounds like an insane fever-dream, doesn’t it? But that’s the plot of Frankenstain vs. Baragon, recently released to Region 1 DVD under its original US theatrical title, Frankenstein Conquers the World. (That’s quite a lofty claim for monster that never leaves the shores of Japan, unless you count the globe-trotting Frankie did as a disembodied heart in a suitcase.) This is a silly, silly movie, and the silliness elevates the film into something wonderful. Plot? Characters? Logic? Who needs these when you have a man in minimal make-up locked in a life-and-death struggle against a rubber creature too cute to be threatening?
The insanity quotient in this film is high even by kaiju movie standards. For example, when radiologists Dr. James Bowen (Nick Adams) and Dr. Kenichiro Kawaji (Tadao Takashima) begin to suspect that their radiation-resistant, rabbit-devouring, boxy-headed patient might actually be Frankenstein’s Monster reincarnated, they seek a second opinion from German physicians in Frankfurt, apparently ones that specialize in Frankenstein-
atology. One physician, the wizened old Dr. Reisendorf who was the original custodian of the Frankenstein heart, advises them to lop off one of their patient’s limbs. If it regenerates, the patient must be Frankenstein. As if that’s not crazy enough, our heroes seriously consider this option! Everyone’s always talking about the excellence of European and Japanese health care, but I’d hate to see the “amputate first and ask questions later” medical philosophy adopted in America.
And then there’s Baragon. Cute, loveable, rampaging Baragon, not to be confused with the Gamera adversary Barugon, a similar dog-dragon capable of shooting rainbows from its back. Baragon is the real culprit here. Frankenstein takes the fall when Baragon, inexplicably roused from his subterranean lifestyle, devours villagers and livestock. Through astounding leaps of logic our intrepid medical researchers are able to deduce that there must be another titanic, carnivorous creature on the loose. Intervention by the Self Defense Force proves ineffective as always, and eventually the monsters clash at the base of Mount Fuji. Witnessing Koji Furahata as Frankenstein rumbling with the legendary Haruo Nakajima in the Baragon suit is well worth the price of admission.
The most glorious cinematic innovation of Frankenstein Conquers the World is the “tako ex machina.” A variation of the Classical “deus ex machina,” this film technique proposes that when all else fails, dump a giant octopus into the picture. Afterward, the conclusion practically writes itself. Seriously, folks, where did that giant octopus come from? Not 
that I’m complaining. It’s probably the best giant octopus I’ve seen in a kaiju film, and I’ve seen numerous cephalopod incarnations from the hilariously superimposed genuine octopus in King Kong vs. Godzilla to the trippy suitmation squid Gezora in Space Amoeba. Like the avenging spirit of Ed Wood’s Atomic Monster risen from a watery grave, this octopus puppet strikes a perfect balance between slimy and squirmy as it wraps Frankenstein in its coils and drags him to the bottom of a lake. The octopus was included at the insistence of Henry G. Saperstein of Benedict Productions, the American co-producers of the film. More power to him. Few artists are capable of improving upon perfection, but how many of them ever tried to add a little “tako” to the mix?
Once again Media Blasters delivers with their economically priced, two-disc DVD set. This release includes the American, International, and Japanese versions of the film, so you can have your Frankenstein fix with or without a side order of tentacles. The zaniness of this film makes Frankenstein Conquers the World a must-have for casual and serious fan alike.
