Joseph Luster
December 19, 2007 
Chow Yun Fat, decked out as the infamously cool Inspector Tequila, readies his double-fisted pistols. He then breaks into a full gallop, not stopping for an instant as he slides his ass across a marketplace table, shoots down two glowing neon signs that instantly crush some thugs, and finishes up with a deftly timed leap onto a set of rails, some quick-draw kills, and an Olympics-level dismount.
“What John Woo flick is this and how the hell did I miss it?” You might be asking yourself this very moment; but deep down inside you know that something this ridiculous and awesome could only explode from within the magical world of television games! This is Midway’s follow-up to the legendary 1992 action spectacular Hard Boiled, to be precise, and it does a pretty admirable job of dragging the film’s legacy head first into the world of polygonal punks and flammable barrels.
Reprising his role as Tequila, Chow Yun Fat awkwardly reads lines that set up another one-man army routine that ensures the player won’t have to deal with pesky ancillary details like squad management or escorting. It’s just you; a pair of nimble legs, and an arsenal that would make the US Armed Forces quake in their boots. It’s very telling that even the packaging of the game eschews any silly setup like “story” or other such nonsense. If you’re curious, though, know that it most definitely involves drugs, kidnapping, and inevitable combinations thereof.
If you’re half as impatient as I am, you likely tried the demo out a dozen times before the game was released, and that’s actually a pretty solid gauge as to how the final product turned out. Max Payne fans will be familiar with certain aspects of the gunplay, specifically what is now known as “Tequila Time.” This is Stranglehold‘s own version of gaming’s used and reused bullet time concept, which slows down time and allows the player to dive in all directions and shoot lethargic goons at a leisurely and satisfying pace.
This oft-tread technique has been refined to near perfection here. Just walking up to a table, for instance, causes Tequila to start sliding like a wild man without any context-sensitive button pressing getting in the way. Then, when an enemy is locked in your sights, you’ll slip into Tequila Time and start blasting. There are, of course, more manual ways of doing this, all of which stick more closely to the established standards. There are also a few special moves, called Tequila Bombs, that let you do other rad things like spinning around shooting in classic Fat style, precision aiming (for those hard to reach testicles), and a barrage attack that unleashes massive damage. Rest assured, aside from being a solid gimmick at the height of its usefulness, slowing things down is essential to survival.
That’s because every single room in this game is like some sort of alien hive of shotgun thugs and Uzi-wielding gangsters. Doors spring open in the middle of a casino and minions pour out of the magic clown car closets, doomed to be slo-mo pistol fodder. This pattern sounds like it would get old, but thanks to Stranglehold‘s modest duration and elaborate destructible set pieces, each assault is a welcome exercise on an explosive playground.
About those set pieces, the most spectacular of the game’s levels has to be the Chicago museum, brought to thundering life courtesy of the Unreal technology. SWAT-like soldiers crash through the ceiling as you run, guns blazing, up the tail of a Tyrannosaurus. Moments later, you turn around and shoot every last bone on that beast, leaving it nothing more than a janitorial disaster. Ancient artifacts then serve as temporary cover, but crumble and deform under the pressure of endless gunfire. Finally, you throw the concept of protection away and run across a balcony shooting and smacking everyone in your way, swinging on wobbly chandeliers, and eventually make it to another bullet-sponge boss battle.
There are also a couple of bizarre moments in the game that momentarily kill the pacing. The one that stands out the most appears woefully early in the game, and could serve to crush the spirits of would-be Tequilas. The second level, in an admirable but misguided attempt to mix the formula up, gives the player section after section of “destroy the drug lab” goals. These quickly become monotonous, and are further compounded by the subsequent “plant bombs on boats” sub-mission and a mediocre gun-manning helicopter flight around the islands.
Stranglehold more than makes up for this in the next level, though, and this small blemish doesn’t change the fact that it’s-if you’ll allow me to do my most horrible action movie pull-quote impersonation-a “high octane, adrenaline-pumping thrill ride.” Throw in some disposable, tacked on multiplayer that’s dumb fun for a round or two with like-minded friends and you’ve got a pretty killer package that’s the perfect length for a couple nights of shooting badguys in the face, chest, or nuts.
Publisher: Midway Games
Developer: Midway Games
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed) / PS3
Available: Now
Rating: M
